Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
