when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
