if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
