You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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