Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
