we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
