Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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