Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
