Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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