he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
