I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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