i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
