I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
