By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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