Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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