dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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