HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
