What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
