What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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