There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
