Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
