Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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