how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
