So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
