hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
