My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
