Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
