it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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