We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
