my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
