dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
