After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You're like the curious george of whores
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
