thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
