Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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