Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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