i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
