You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
