I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
