i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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