Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
