i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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