Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
