It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
