All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
