He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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