just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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