just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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