and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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