I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
