The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
