dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
