I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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